In my life I have gone to two schools and have only been truly accepted by one and I can’t help but wonder why.At my first school I was like a video games that people got addicted to. Kind of like tetris or a cat you would through stones at. For three years of my life everyday was a battle with no allies that I had to struggle through. My old teacher once told a story from worlds war 2 that after a big battle only one soldier remained. stood in a pool of blood and the opposite team I guess you could call it in stead of being humane and killing him started shooting him in his hands and legs just for fun. The last soldier screamed for them to kill him. His friends were scatted around him and men were taunting him with bullets who wouldn’t want to just lie down and go on? They went on like this for a hour or so. A bigger crowd gathered. The soldier was kneeling now. (he must have looked like swiss cheese) They finally attracted the attention of a sharp shooter. The sharp shooter made his way through the crowd where people were jeering the men with guns on. the sharp shooter made his way to the front. He sighed in disgust and raised his hand gun. The last soldier looked up at him and smiled his last smile and opened his arms as the man looked him in the eye and sent a bullet through his head. Thats basically what happened to me except with out the blood, guts and gore. It was just the only scenario I can think of. I don’t know who the sharp shooter was in my situation and I don’t care some one pushed a little to far and I said enough. Just like that with in the month I was getting ready for my first days at my new school where I was accepted easily not because they were all like me or anything like that. It was because I was myself. Being some one else hadn’t gotten me any where so I really didn’t have anyone else to be but me I’m not saying that i’m overly popular but I’m not a downright loser but I think thats because no-one really is popular or a loser. I might think of my best friend as the most popular person ever and she might think i’m a loser but really I don’t care because if I was to actally to know who was the best and who is the worst and blah blah blah you would have to sit down with every one on the planet and think about it and with what I have observed human beings just can’t be bothered to do that. Plus who gives a damn. We are imperfect because thats life and I like my life so that suits me just fine. I guess what I’m trying to say is we are all inbetweenners.
Today is nothing. It’s one of those days when all the thing you love suddenly feel much less atractive. It’s thursday here and I’m bored. It’s drisling rain outside and I feel the same way. The words I would use to describe how I feel would be um…. got to think about this one. I think I have to get a thusarus and look up the words horribly sick. Dad has been feeding me endless vitiams, cold and flu relife pills and lets not forget the orange stuff that looks remarkably like gaterraid exept not hence the taste. It may make me feel a little better dare I say it cured (for a short time anyway) but I would take the good old fashioned lieing about in bed with warm milk and honey any day.So there I want the world to know I’m sick and simpathetic to everyone eles who is sick plus this will get mum off my back about writing the blog.
Today I found this song. Just a song. Not a song that would make a number one hit but I just made so much since. It’s called “what if today is your last day” I don’t understand most of the song. I just like the beat but the first two lines I really listened too they’ve been going around in my head all day. Linking its self to anything it can. Here’s what they said:
“My best friend gave me the best advise.
he said everyday is a gift not a given right”
It amazes me how something so simple can take so many people most of their life if not all of it to figure it out. I know I’m small and insignificant to the would but does anyone care that I don’t understand? Life is beautiful, hectic and down right crazy and Thats that. Get over it and take advantage of what you’ve got. Thats the problem with heaven and hell. With heaven with all that good stuff in it must be as boring a history lesson when your teacher falls asleep in his chair but keeps talking about kings and stuff in his sleep and your not evan aloud to go out for lunch and with hell you just go though hell. After a while you have to get used to it and suddenly it’s no worse that heaven. Life has this thing where everything is balanced out perfectly. Sometimes it feels like everything is shit but then you feel like singing because everything is perfect at that exact moment. I can recall many moments where I come home from school and I have just got off the bus and an overwhelming joy makes me want to sing and most times I do. I go across the road to the kind of empty place and I sing at the top of my lungs my voice being drowned by the traffic racing past but then at times I feel like crying for oh so many reasons. Its like you get married to someone and all is well but then this some one dies because the war starts but then in the middle of the war you get a kid the the war ends any way the point is it all adds up in the end it’s not in any patten. Of corse if it was it would probably a lot simpler but then again you would lose the fun of guess what happens next. So that was just a tiny glimpse of my brain. I think that if anyone got the full picture they would need to go into intensive care for the rest of there life and so as noah says. “maybe we are all dreaming. But who cares? Life is swell”