Two sided emeotions and wishful days

People are constantly telling me that my notorious impatience will never get me anywhere. Of course I can see that they sure as hell don’t know where I am going so it’s really like saying a boat won’t get me anywhere when I might be travelling by sea rather than road, nonetheless I have nothing better to think about and I think that two way emotions and characteristics are interesting so what the hell. In some way they’re right. Impatience can fool you into thinking that waiting for something you really want is pure personal hell when it really isn’t, but in others it can help you. I like to think that my version of impatience is the type that will simply let me work for it rather than wait for it though I may be wrong. I have been oblivious to things like this before.
It is the same with stubbornness. For example, we were doing pottery in art class this term and I am both fortunately and unfortunately a stupefyingly stubborn soul was having trouble. My cautious vanity would like to mention that this doesn’t happen often but that would be a really god awful lie. My friend who had been having the same trouble with this as me but had given up begun to do a different less difficult technique kept telling me that I should just lay down my guns. You can probably see where this little story is going by now. I didn’t lay down my guns at all, to be honest I provably picked some more up. The point that I won in the end. Of course I won, stubbornness can get you places, just like how it can hold you back. Impatience is the same.
On a completely unrelated topic a friend told me today that all of the kids in her street kind of band together because they don’t live in the most child friendly neighbourhood. I told her that I thought that that happened everywhere and personally I think I’m right. People think that you only know the tricks of a place if that place is a prison or a camp or a bad neighbourhood, but the truth is that we could all give that “so you’re new here huh?” pep talk on how to not destroy everything. Hell, I could give on solely on how to break the rules consistently and not get expleled after a week. The trick of the trade are things that we all know. Whether it is abiding by the rules or breaking them. We all get that. Where to go, how to act, that’s our deal. In times of need or at least when nobody is watching kids do generally band together simply because we get what’s going on in everyone else’s heads. Living in australia times are hot and even I have had my days of gang life. Me and Dora would go out every day to play. Play is the only word I can think of in the English language, but still it doesn’t quite fit it. It didn’t feel like playing. It felt like the feeling that a biker must get when him and all of his mates with beards go out on a ride together. There were days when I lived for those afternoons and summer days.
I remember distinctly this pair of twins that lived over the road with their mum. For about a year me, Dora and them were inseparable. It was brilliant. They were a year older than Dora so I don’t know why they bothered with us. I could fight and Dora had a smart mouth to be proud of. I know that saying that I could fight sounds a little trivial but back then if you had the ability to out master the boys you were pretty top notch, which I could do. I could fight. I could wrestle and I could piss other kids off like nobodies business. I guess I making myself sound like some kid badass. I wasn’t. I was a kid who could dodge and wasn’t yet timid enough to through a punch when annoyed. I guess that gave me some sort of appeal with boys. I remember playing video games when it rained and jumping off roofs and being fed Christmas lollies. It was brilliant. We had our own tribe away from all the stresses of growing up and the various judgemental eyes.
I miss that.


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