The importance of listening to your dad when you’re five

Equality. I hear this word a lot, at school, from my parents, from large corporations and politicians. I have come to link it with something good, something clean and uncorrupted. Equality, every individual as equal as they next, regardless of gender, race, religion, or orientation. It doesn’t  seem like a bad deal to me.

Not bad at all. I remember when I was little I would get so furious about fairness, about the fact that someone else got more than me, when my sister had to do less than me, but got more for it. I remember that tiny rage burning in my chest. I remember making my dad loose the will to live, I remember the words he said to me in an exasperated voice, I remember not having the faintest clue what he was talking about. At the time his words only confused me because I didn’t understand the base theory, but now, now that I’m older and I have more time to think and reflect I get it. I get that what my dad was telling me was that the world didn’t need to be fair, it just needed to be kind. He told me that I needed to think about my every action, because it always affected someone else. If I didn’t pick up that sock, someone else would have to. If I did a little more than Dora, then that might not be fair to me and she might not appreciate it, but I would still be lightening the load on her, and that, he told me, was kindness. I’m pretty sure that my dad is one of the kindest people I know.

Some people, some people I know, go through life believing that life ought to be fair, but its not. That is one of the few universal constants. Life is not going to treat you well just because your a good person. Let me tell you, the universe, the galaxy and everything is completely indifferent to how profound your love is. If it wants to rain on your wedding then it damn well will. Expecting it not to is like expecting a bull not to charge you because your a vegetarian.

I think that it is one of life’s greatest gifts that it isn’t fair, because if it was fair we would all get what we deserve and, quite frankly, I know what I deserve and I really don’t think its very necessary. I believe that the ambition of equality and fairness is probably a good thing, I mean, its a good thing to aspire to, but I just don’t think it as important as everyone makes it out to be. I rather be kind than equal. Any day.

Tact and Frank

When I’m bored, or annoyed, or I have nothing better to do I watch this youtube channel called OnisionSpeaks. The guy who does it gets hell of a lot of anger from people who stumble onto his videos, mostly because he’s a bit of a prick. He says a lot of things that that are offensive to a lot of people, or at least he says it is very offensive ways. From what I have seen from his videos he is very certain that the way he views the important topics that he addresses in his videos are the exact way that they play out in the world and… in some ways I can relate to that. We all see the world through our own custom made rose-tinted glasses. I, personally, try to see the good in people to the point of naivety. He’s brash and doesn’t take in other people’s emotions into consideration. I can admire the fact that that takes some balls. That doesn’t mean he deserves all the shit he gets. Those are his opinions and if he wants to express them to the world, then, hell, he can knock himself out. What people take away from that is their business.

I’m being very careful here, because unlike this person I have been brought up on the notion that nobody has the right to ruin your day, and you have no right to ruin anyone else’s. It’s been drilled into my head since I started asking questions and, fuck, I’m not going to diss someone because they have different opinions from me. I don’t agree with everything this guy says, not even slightly, but he brings up an interesting factor about free speech on the internet.

People often think that free speech is expressing your opinions and having them be accepted. It’s not. People are under no obligation to accept your opinions or change their own to suit yours. All people are obliged to do is not try and kill or imprison you for it. That’s it.

I don’t believe in brashness, or frankness when it can be harmful. I just not that sort of person. I’m more of a pat on the back sort of person, calm logic and analysis, but when push comes to shove I am hugely capable of giving anyone a mouthful, which usually doesn’t end well for anyone.

All I’m saying is to try not to hurt people when speaking in any scenario.