Instructions to de-cluttering you head By a thirteen year old

Yesterday was my birthday, it was also the day my mum went into surgery. Yeah, I know. Not the most superb birthday present ever but it’s okay. I hold no sentimentality to the day of my birth, sure it’s nice to get presents and be the centre of attention for a few hours but nonetheless I sure as hell don’t remember being born and its not like I did some great thing on that day. I was just born. I came out of my mum’s tummy just like every other human being on the planet. Don’t get me wrong I love my birthday. I think the idea of a birthday is a wonderful thing. Giving each person a day for everyone around them to celebrate their existence.
Anyway, every birthday I have, whatever the circumstances, I always get chaotically flustered. People give me many, many presents and by the end of the day I’m standing their with spirals in my eyes and a dazed look with my arms filled with the kindness of others. Now, this morning, a day after my birthday, with no presents lift to give I had to pluck the spirals from my eyes and reaffirm myself with being a person.
So here is how I managed it.
Step 1: clean fucking everything. Just clean. It’s doesn’t matter what it is. Organise, wash and refresh your space of time. Colour code it if you have to. Just create a place of which there is no clutter.
Step 2: have a shower. There is nothing better than being warm and clean. Just have a bloody shower and its like the cosmos is back where it ought to be. Clean your teeth, your face, you legs, your arms. Clean EVERYTHING.
Step 3: read something. Not some sappy romance novel. Read something intellectual and clever and it almost always help if its charmingly witty.
Step 4: play some Xbox or some other gaming console. It helps if the game your playing in unnecessarily violent. Basically go kill someone made of pixels. It is human nature to be destructive and if your destructive in the real world your bound to cause trouble for the people who love you, but in the gaming world it’s the name of the game.
Step 5: do what ever the hell you want. Your cured.

Here I am, strangely not where I used to be

I have always liked to think of myself as a bubble person. I live in my own personal bubble where I can keep everyone and everything that has ‘overwhelming’ stamped over there heads at a distance.
A few minutes ago I found myself in bed listening to music and reading. I have no idea how on earth I got here. But I seem to know what is happening in the book and the song I listened to before this one. This is generally how I spend my day. Blipping involuntarily in and out of mental presence. Some would call it day dreaming, but really it’s more like a small amount of peaceful calm. I know and understand what’s going on around me. If anything I notice more than when I’m really focusing on something. My brain just doesn’t register the situation as worthy of my full attention. So I just go on with whatever I’m doing without actually doing it at all.
To some people this is vagueness and something that needs to be fixed. To me it’s just the fact that I have the ability to go into a situation on auto drive and others don’t. It others its unresponsive and slow and something to be fixed. To me it’s just me clicking into gear after being briefly in a grateful escape from reality.
I’m relatively smart, I get good grades. In general my school life is completely unaffected by the fact that I stare out the window the large majority of the time. I don’t know how I gained the information I was being taught. I just gained it. It was said outside my bubble and it somehow my brain picked it out of the air, deemed it interesting or at least useful in the near distant future and decided it was worth the effort of analysis and storing.
This is just the way I am and I don’t think that even if I tried I would be able to change. It would be as pointless as trying to change the colour of my eyes on will power alone. It’s just the way I am and always will be.

We all have to do it whether we want to or not

Picture this: you are in a class room, it is hot and everyone, including you are wearing heavy dresses that feel like big woollen sacks that itch in all the wrong places. It’s the end of the day and everyone wants to go home but don’t want to suffer through the hassle of public transport to get there. Everyone wants everyone else to shut up so that they can rest their heads down on the desk and go to sleep. The teacher is trying to enhance the enthusiasm in the class by being overly enthusiastic.
This was the situation I found myself in this afternoon. It’s day two of term four, the Australian spring is just setting in and everyone is still hissing at the sudden appearance of sunlight. This is an occasion that almost a good load of everyone has found themselves in. Hot, bothered and almost always completely exhausted. This is what us first world humans deal with a lot.
It’s tiring and boring and anger stimulating but worth it. It is always worth the fight. Today I kept walking in the heat back from the train station because I wanted to be at home and the only way that I was ever going to get there was to keep on walking. Even if I was half dead with exhaustion I was going to have to get my ass to bed by walking.
We all have to deal with this and it does get easier. When we get pushed back we get back up and kick ass, because we inevitably aren’t where we need to be and are willing to fight back to get there.

A very curious ball game and a ‘what to do’ question

I do not like sport. I do not watch sport and frankly at some points in time I would rather impale myself on a rusty pike than play it. But today was different.
The rebellious-ness of children sometimes amazes me but it is one of the greatest things to be a part of. I had PE today. We were put into teams of five and were asked to split in two more teams of three and two. The rules were that we were meant to pass a football five times to score a point. This game gradually evolved after time to make a game a little like touch football. By this point we were all tired and cold and the wind was biting though our clothes no matter how much we ran around trying to get the ball. As the wind howled a friend of mine started to just throw the ball up into the air at absolutely nobody.
This was the start of the rebellion.
The rest of the two teams including me also started to rebel against the pointless game that seem to go on for forever and a couple more days after that. Me and a taller girl started to sing ‘Girls just wanna have fun’ at the top of our voices. The wind drowned out our voices but the rest of us could still here the out of tune calamity. Our song slowly but increasingly evolved in to “I through ball up in the air sometimes, saying ayo got to let go” even with this singing and dancing and general up-to-no-gooding it got boring. We looked around the field in sort of something else to tease. We saw that some kids from another school were playing something that from a distance looked like duck, duck goose. As rebellious twelve year olds we immediately sat down and made someone in. We played this for three seconds before the teacher noticed.
Again the game evolved. We were suddenly a whole team again and were pitched against the team next to us. The other team had a large amount of uptight people who seemed to really want to win. It soon became apparent that we were lazy idiots who would rather make the game a giant joke than win. At one point our team sat down, crossed our legs and started to meditate. Saying with our eyes closed that we would propel the ball towards us with mind power. A boy immediately kicked the ball towards us.
It was fun.
We got in trouble but it was really fun.
This has nothing to do with PE or sport but it is also a kind of interesting topic on how to be a kid. I have a pretty large crush on a boy in a few of my classes and I have absolutely no idea what to do about that. This worries me. I am a huge and utter fan of knowing exactly what to do at all times. Should I be writing a letter to him, confessing my ever ass-kissing love and spraying it with perfume that I have never worn. As a teenager I watch or are forced into watching a large amount of bad tv dramas and it seems that a girl with a crush should do different things to a boy with a crush. A boy should send flowers and a girl should write love letters. Some would say that I’m being brave by saying that I have a crush on some one on social media but really I am not going to go naming names.
I know for a fact that if some one wrote me a love letter sprayed with cheap perfume I would be seriously and epically freaked out. For every girl out there with a crush do not use this method. As for the guys you’re going good. As far as I can tell the large majority of girls like flowers. Also chocolates.
A lot of kids deal with the he/she doesn’t know I exist problem. You would be surprised to know that not only do great minds think alike so do a large majority of other minds too. That’s why when you don’t like someone they don’t really like you either.
I have a high doubt that there is anyway at all to say that you like some one without making a huge and utter fool out of your self. I have made to decision to lay low for the point being. Let’s just say my pride is worth a lot to me.

The declaration of big picture wants

Me, mum and my little sister recently got back from Fiji and though I have alot to say on the matter of Fiji, at the moment I am considerably more interested in something that happened there. At some point my little sister, as all stressed out, tired seven year olds do, went berserk about something or other. In this moment of berserk-y-ness mum shared with us the theory of the big picture.
The big picture is everything. The people around you and their wants and needs, and sometimes you can only see through a tiny telescope to see what you want and can’t understand why you can’t have it.
I am not vain, but I don’t consider myself a want-y spoilt brat, but I have a habit of declaring things at the world. Example: a few days ago I discovered that I wanted and Xbox. I told my family this. Immediately my older sister began to berate me for it, as I can only guess, all older sisters do. My mother’s first response was:
“Big picture Clem” which confused me to the utmost that it eventually started to hollow out my skull with the complexity of the morals and counter morals that were helpfully connected to the thought process. What confused me was that I was looking at the big picture and while I was looking at this big picture I was thinking ‘I want an Xbox in this big picture’. After a large amount of consideration I figured that I was putting my wants above others, which when put that way sound horrible, but then again we all have to put the ‘me’ factor before someone eles’s ‘me’ factor or none of us would ever get anything done.
This all so brings us to the crime of wanting something, which can be very tearing when ethics is thrown in. I am a firm believer that wanting something is about as lawless as me turning a page of a book because I want to know what happens next. People would obviously argue that me wanting to know what happens is okay, but wanting to destroy the earth and all of its inhabitants is not okay. This is a textbook terrible argument. I have significant urges to find ways to destroy the earth quite frequently. You are not in control of what you want, you are simply in control of what you do about it.
Never condemn other people wants for they are not in control of what it is and neither are you. If you have a chance to make you happy go for it.
It is okay to want what you want.

The dramas of being a new born teenager

Highschool is probably one of the most dramatic places on earth. Especially mine. People say that all those sitcoms about highschool drama, friendships and romances are all fake and it doesn’t actually happened, well it sure as hell happens at my school. I’m pretty sure that if a film crew followed me around for a day they would have enough matirial for a full season of bad television.
A friend of mine has a truly rocky love life and he’s thirteen. He has recently suffered a harsh break up, in which it could of been broken to him a little more softly. As he describes it, ‘she left him like yesterday’s chutney” I think that’s a Big Bang theory quote, but I can’t be sure.
Another friend of mine, was half forced into going out with some just because everyone else found him cute. Eventually of course that both split apart, mainly because they despised each other. The only reason they could even consider the ‘us’ factor was because they would look nice together.
What’s even weirder is that every one of my friends is from an age range of eleven to thirteen and they are hooking up and kissing and whatever else people decide to giggle about. I do not have a boyfriend. Nor do I intend of aquiring one. I’m twelve, therefore I am going to behave like a twelve year old. I am Clementine-at-twelve, not Clementine-at-twelve-pretending-to-be-sixteen.
Another weird thing is if you are even in the remote vicinity of a boy it is the automatic response of everyone is that either you like him or he’s your boyfriend. This particular rule is incredibly annoying for one such as myself. I have a lot of boys-who-are-my-friends. (this is to be only said with finger quotation marks) I like hanging out with boys and often sit with them. They get that. It’s surprising, guys seem alot less interested in the consept of “oh my god I want a girl/boyfriend!!” In the conversations I have taken part in most of the topics were youtube videos, football, bad music and good music. I know they still have their crushes and so on but they don’t let that take on their entire lives. Of corse this is just my veiw, they may be totally into their crushes I’m not there.
After a lot of persuading I have finally convinced everyone, (mostly th girls) that I don’t wish for a boyfriend and that I do not like anyone at all. To properly emphasise this I have magically created a new term. This term is “guy pals”. It is an incredibly useful term because it uses neither “boy” nor “friend” which is very good for lowering suspicion. Creating a new term in high school is actually very easy. All you have to do is explain it and viola, someone says it to someone else and so on and so on. The chain goes on.
At camp (the very same one that was featured in my last blog post.) I had to sleep in a cabin full of girl, which I can now say was about as easy as trying to eat the titanic. In the depth of the night, something very odd happens to teenage girls. It’s like become the were wolf. Suddenly in the midst of the conversation all anyone can talk about is boys. Boys, boys, boys. And they make up these game like kill, marry or snog. Your givin three names and you must either kill, marry or snog them.
Any way tired now. Have to clean my room, but feeling very rotten. I Hope your life is less dramatic than mine.

The curse of The missing schedule

I have just started high school and like many people in the same distressing situation I have been finding it quite…er… distressing. From my observations every year seven person seems willing to crash, burn and slash their way to the top of the food chain. When you stand in the corridor everyone seems to think that the way of life to get through the day is to make everyone else’s shit. Either they have been watching to many american high school chick flicks or they have forgotten why they came that morning in the first place.
The Bad asses:
They are the people who will push you in the corridor and smart off to the teacher. They may as well walk around with: “Talk to me and get ready to be dissed with a crappy comeback” plastered on their foreheads. They pretend not to give a shit about anyone or anything but still look around worriedly when they can’t find their friends and don’t want to look like a loner in front of everyone else.
The Suck Ups:
These are the people (Almost always girls) who will ruin your day if you’re avoiding any rule, even if you don’t even know that this supposed rule existed at all. If you give them a chance they will get you into trouble and as far as I can see the teachers are more than happy to comply, although I don’t think that they know that. THey are just doing their jobs just as we all do. Of corse with all I’m saying about these people I don’t mean that they wake up in the morning thinking that they will get yet another poor sucker into trouble, it’s just bad habits die hard and all of that.
These are the two most likely groups you’ll find when you walk on to a piece of unmarked but heavily guarded turf. Anything I seem to want to do is socially illegal, all the people I want to sit with, all the people who want to sit with me. They may as well make a rule book because I have never been good at remembering rules especially ones that are useless and don’t make any sense. Everyone looks as though they have al been given are timetable of what to do and where and when to do it that I just happened not to get. LIke the other day the boys came over to us and everyone else just acted as though it had been carefully planned the other day and I just wasn’t their at the time.
My problem is I don;t want to be at the top or at the bottom or on the food chain at all, but everything I do seems counter planned.
I am one of the few (I have spotted some others) who kind of stand on the outside voluntarily with a face that says in clear words “What the hell is going on here?” . But still its kind of fun. The most important thing is that I do sit with the socially illegal, because my plan is the fight the law and knowing life the laws gonna win.